The other night we were lying in bed and I said, “so tomorrow, I’m 33 weeks pregnant.” And then we freaked out and said, “wait, this is going TOO fast.” But then, the next morning my little pregnancy app said it was actually Week 32 and the rush of relief and also disappointment I felt was intense. Is pregnancy always like this? The wanting to hold the little one so close and also all like, wait take your time.
Truth be told, we are more or less ready for the baby when it comes to material items. Since our boys will only be 21 months apart, we’ve kept most of Henry’s newborn essentials and I’ve been slowly adding to the pile throughout the months.
Baby now has a place to sleep, a little nook across from our bed. We bought a new-to-us co-sleeper a couple weeks ago and I hope it will be the perfect solution to the question: “where to put the baby when he’s sleeping?!” Because when it was just Henry we put Henry anywhere and everywhere. But I’m guessing it’s not the smartest or safest to put the new baby on the floor or the couch with Henry running, hopping, rolling, and stomping around. Henry’s idea of careful and gentle is very different than ours, but he tries. Sometimes.
We made the fabric banner thingy for above the crib. Gillis joked the whole time that it looked very Blair Witch Project, and yeah, definitely not the prettiest or most infant-y thing to put above a crib, but I think it’s kinda nice. And one day the boys will share a room, so there’s no need to build a proper nursery nook.
I’ve also been in serious nesting mode and we are like 96% finished with the gallery wall in the living room.
It’s not perfect, but I love seeing all these different pieces of art and some of the memories they hold on our walls. Also, can anyone suggest good, cheap(isn) frames that aren’t IKEA? The quality of their frames has really gone down with cheap plastic “glass” that easily breaks and plastic wood. And wow- let’s not talk about the crazy glare on frames. Drives. Me. Crazy.
And we hung some art up in Henry’s room as well. The armadillo I’ve had on my wish list for about four years. It’s made with maps from Texas, so sentimental value right there. The plan is to put up some family photos after the new baby comes along. (I’ve made a few other changes to the nursery and would so soon love to share them).
And then once again, our little family has been plagued with some nasty colds. Henry’s being the worst mix of coughing, high fever, and general misery. Lots of naps and cuddles for him. And then right as he started to get his groove back, I’m suddenly finding myself with a runny nose and a sore throat.
Last night Gillis and I agreed that we’ve reached that stage of parenthood where it’s either all going WAY TOO FAST or we are sick. For awhile there, the months just seemed to drag out in the best and worst way possible. I so desperately wanted Henry to be older so he could laugh, crawl, walk, talk, etc. But now he’s there. And I’m just like SLOW DOWN.
The good thing about a new baby, besides it being born (!!!) is that before it comes it really makes you take the time to notice your family. You take the time to enjoy them, hug them, breathe them in. You listen and try to do more meaningful activities together. Your words tend to be nicer, you put the phone away.
I remember before Henry was born, every night I would cling to Gillis fiercely and tell him over and over how much I loved him. And then I would list all the reasons why. It was intense and crazy, but I was so scared about how Henry would change our two person life. No more spontaneous movies or dinners or late nights binge-watching TV with lazy sleeping-in mornings. How would this baby change our relationship?
Henry slept between us for the first five months of his life and we both loved it, but we were both so incredibly happy to get our bed back when we moved him to his crib.
I am trying to be more present with Henry. To not check Facebook, instagram, etc etc when he is around. Some days I’m good at this, other days I keep looking for a break. Being “on” 24/7 is exhausting and you start to take the 5 minute breaks when you can. But I would rather remember my time with him building Lego towers and playing peek-a-boo.
We were also all so much better when our TV wasn’t hooked up. Oops.
And soon, Henry won’t be our only child. I’ve started singing to him at night, after his bottle, I hold him close, and breathe him in. He clings to me, as if he knows that change is coming. He sticks his arms in through my shirt and holds me tight, before his grip loosens with eventual deep sleep.
I guess the lesson in all of this is that time is really never on your side. Because just when you think you have the moment captured, you blink and suddenly everything has changed. Usually for the better though.